the problem with me is that i care too much about what others think of me & it literally kills me
sotong: a somewhat singlish term to refer to some one who is slow in thinking, gullible, naive
or you could just say absentminded :)
I always space out, it's not your fault.
welcomeee to my inner me
When you are an introvert, or maybe not an introvert but someone who tends to be more quiet, these things eventually come up in conversation.
1. “You should be more assertive!”
Right. Because being assertive has worked SO well in the past I decided not to open my mouth about suggestions again.Ever again.
The reason being that it’s not that we don’t have any ideas or that we don’t want to stress the importance of our ideas to other people. It’s the fact that we have tried more than a few times, repeating ourselves, telling people things that we want done, and everyone just ignores us or treats us like it’s a suggestion.
And let’s not forget the next one.
2. “Woah, why are you so serious?Chill!”
Because from point 1, and taking the stupid advice of people who shared point 1, we realised we weren’t heard the first, second or the third time we talked.
When it came to the 7th time we had to rephrase or repeat a suggestion, we lost it. And yes, just because we are quiet does not mean we do not have tempers and that it is okay to forget us or ignore us.
which brings us to number 3.
3. “Hey were you at class yesterday? I missed you!”
Because apparently not being heard equates to not having a physical presence, even though I sat beside you for 3 hour lesson we had together yesterday. Enough said.
4. “Do you have any ideas you would like to contribute? “
Actually, I’m fine sitting here, pretending to be a rock. Nope SERIOUSLY, I’m good.
When we tell you there are times we really don’t feel a need to open our mouth and participate in the group discussion, its really the truth.
5. “Hey don’t be such a wet blanket!”
I’m sorry that I don’t enjoy parties where there is spinning and flashing lights, too many people vibrating on the floor and ear-blasting beats that are continuously on loop.
Actually nope, not sorry.
6. “You know you seemed so quiet when I first met you”
Well, that’s normal right? I don’t know you, why would I have alot of things to talk to you about?
and lastly, of all the faux pas mentioned here:
7. “Well, that was awkward." (overheard one friend telling another friend this)
No, silences are not awkward. and if our sense of humour don’t agree with each other, you can just wingardium leviosa your way out of this friendship.
Sorry not sorry.
I don’t get feminism. It does not mean I do not support it, but rather that I don’t understand it. You see of the academia that I have read and dealt with feminism, close to all and perhaps I am not well read enough, I would apologise if that’s the case, but close to all have considered feminism through the way women are put down, marginalised, objectified. You could say we are symbols, you could say we are the silenced Other, finally given a chance to speak, but why don’t you portray us females as we are? As human. As one with flaws and intricate natures, with secrets, with thoughts, with speech, with actions, instead of focusing on what we look like, what we talk like. I am not saying that being loud and opinionated means I am standing up for feminism, I am saying, I want to be human that’s all, as part of the collective human race. Not as a gender set apart for you to view as sexual objects or weak characters. It’s cool if you find me sexy, it’s cool if you find me pretty, it’s cool if you find me intelligent, but don’t make that any part of me that appeals to you, make it a value worth having, regardless of gender, regardless of looks. I could be a woman with long hair and talks loudly and freely, I could be a woman with short hair and slightly obese, but talks softly, but I am still human. Because none of those qualities should be what qualifies me as a woman, and rather my worth should lie in my ability to be a decent human being.
Of course if you want to argue for feminism, the greatest quality to be determined as a female is to be inherently what a male is not. But in order to do that, we again rely on the fact that we determine who we are by what men are. So once again there is a conundrum in what teach girls. That as girls we must learn to be independent, to be strong. Yet, we lambast men for being weak for being like a girl and at the same time we teach our girls to be more like a man, because that’s the ideal isn’t it?
It’s just my two cents worth but, feminism shouldn’t be just preaching gender equalities, but also to question, why is there even established gender roles in society?if we could remove established qualities that make up what is a man or what is a woman(by that I do not mean the physical differences that we are born with or the genetic qualities that are unable to change) such as hair length, gestures, terms of beauty, strengths in character, wouldn’t that make it easier for people to understand what it is like to be human?
I just thought about this whole chunk because my friend laughed at me when I said I actually liked to clean the house and told me that’s a house wife’s job and that I’m studying in university to write not to be a housewife. But when you think about it, there isn’t anything wrong with liking household chores and STILL be able to study intelligently isn’t there? Just like how men can also like household chores and still be able to work outside? It’s just a means of keeping our surroundings clean and the way we prefer our hygiene levels to be. It really boggles my mind sometimes when I realise how close minded people actually are.
Because the truth is, it’s easy to be human if we could just stop separating ourselves and putting each other down.